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Here’s what you might have missed in social media in the last week…..- Ellen Breaks Twitter
- Minecraft Movie
- The Linkedin Denial Heard Around the World
- How to Lose $80K In One Facebook Post
- Sex With A Hot Pocket
The Good
Ellen Breaks Twitter
Ellen DeGeneres has perhaps the coolest “selfie” experience ever.While hosting the Oscars, Ellen decided to gather a group of celebrities for a selfie. And then she broke Twitter.
Ellen also broke the highest Twitter records by getting 400K retweets in 30 minutes. When the screen shot was taken, it had been retweeted 2.7 million times.
As a result, Twitter lost power for over 20 minutes, and sent out an apology to it’s users. Well played Ellen.
Minecraft Movie
For those of you who found yourselves at a movie theater laughing and crying at the Lego Movie (and not just because of how much cash you dropped on 4 tickets and some popcorn), there is MORE good news. Most of our kids from 8-15 years old are Minecraft FREAKS.
We should therefore, not be surprised that there is a Minecraft movie in the works.
That’s right a “live action” movie based on the wildly popular game (100 million users to date).
As long as that 40 second music wind-chime-tinkling-tune on a loop isn’t the consistent musical accompaniment, I should be able to make it out without shoving a pencil in my eye.
The Bad
The Linkedin Denial Heard Around the World
In local news turned global….a Cleveland Communications professional named Kelly Blazek sent several aggressive and nasty emails out to individuals seeking employment in the public relations and communications field. What makes this situation tragically ironic is the fact that Ms. Blazek is the self-professed “Job Bank House Mother” of an online Yahoo Group meant to serve those very individuals.Essentially you sign up for the newsletter (which I have done personally), and if you have done everything exactly the way that Ms. Blazek has demanded, you may or may not be added to the list. When a young woman reached out to Ms. Blazek on Linkedin, Blazek’s response was cruel and aggressive. The young woman decided to take her revenge on Blazek by posting the email on social sites. It became viral within hours.
In the 48 hour aftermath, Blazek had been locally, nationally, and globally shamed. Blazek has pulled down all of her social media sites and removed all of the content on her blog. Additional “victims” of Blazek’s attitude starting to gather like ants at a picnic, including a parody account on Twitter.
So what now? Have we collectively learned anything from this experience?
- Apparently revenge is popular, especially when the bully “has it coming”.
Isn’t this the very same thing I teach parents and students during my Internet Safety Presentations? ‘There is a very thin line between being a victim and becoming the bully.’
The young woman who was legitimately bullied and victimized, engaged in her own brand of vigilante cyberbullying by posting Blazek’s email and asking others to pile on.
- Beware a Karmic Slap from the universe
If you are a bully and you put it in writing – please, please expect to be brought down with impunity. The Internet likes this – mind your tongue.
- Innocent people end up suffering for the stupidity of others
Was Blazek wrong? Hell yes she was wrong. However, if the job bank which she created and cultivated goes down in flames, those people looking for work might find it that much more difficult to find employment.
- When in doubt – punch yourself in the face
I tell my students to imagine their grandmothers reading their latest post or viewing their latest upload photos on Instagram…if the content passes the “Grandma Filter” – then it’s probably fit for public consumption. I’m not sure that the Grandma Filter would have helped Blazek.So here’s my version for anyone over 21 years old: Imagine for a moment that your latest: email, post, or photo will be on the evening news in multiple countries. Would you be proud of it? Would you have to explain yourself? Would you have to turn your back on your job, your community, and your entire life and enter Witness Protection? If so, punch yourself in the face as hard as you can. Repeat until the urge passes.
How to Lose $80K In One Facebook Post
Photo Credit: Rebecca Barray NOTE TO SELF:
The next time I’m a college freshman and my dad wins an age-discrimination suit against the high school that employed him, I will remember to NOT post a snarky victory status on Facebook, especially when the settlement includes a gag order – because then my parents will lose the settlement money.
The Ugly
This Teen Has Sex With a Hot Pocket, Seriously
When I present to parents I talk about the immaturity of the teen brain. It just isn’t done cooking yet, literally. A young adult’s brain does not have a fully connected frontal lobe. So they’re sorta brain damaged. But as parents we forget that and tend to say things like: “How on earth did you think that was a good idea?”, “No, I have never wondered what would happen if you microwaved a raw egg”, and “Why is there cottage cheese on the ceiling?”.
This story lives at the intersection of “Over Cooked Hot Pocket” AND “Under Cooked Frontal Lobe”.
Once upon a time there was a young man who wanted to increase his Twitter followers. He created a Vine of himself fornicating with an empty box of Pop Tarts. After a brief flash of social media fame – the muse visited once again. In an effort to skyrocket past his previous fame, he decided to have sex with a microwaved Hot Pocket, literally.
“I tried doing it without a condom and it was just, like, way too hot,” he said. “I put it in the fridge for a little bit and I was like, ‘Dude, I’m gonna have to use a condom if I’m gonna actually stick my d*** in the whole Hot Pocket.'”
Alas, in the end the fame backfired; the courageous young man who risked his personal reputation AND his junk ended up with suspended Twitter and Vine accounts. In addition, Hot Pockets blocked him on Twitter….everybody’s a critic.
In other (apparently) unrelated news….
Nestle USA issued a voluntary recall of its Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pockets because they may contain “diseased and unsound animal meat” – which is an unkind characterization. What teens do with their Hot Pockets is really none of our business. Unless of course they post it to Vine, then it becomes “forever”.
Read more from the Blog
- The Barrel Has No Bottom : Yik Yak Review: Another Anonymous Social Media Site Perfect for Cyberbullying & It’s Worse Than Ask.fm
- I Disagree Completely With HuffPost Article – Here’s What You Should ACTUALLY Do If You Catch Your Kid Sexting
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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I’ve realized that the barrel has no bottom. There will be no scraping the bottom, because there will always be another app or social platform to discuss which tops (or bottoms) the potential ugliness of the previous one.In honor of Safer Internet Day, we have a new cootie to dissect. This one is called Yik Yak – perhaps because that is what it will make you want to do….
Yik Yak is worse than Ask.fm. Yes, I said it – WORSE. And if you aren’t sure what Ask.fm is read two of my previous posts:
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
Why Yik Yak is Worse than Ask.fm
As we’ve seen before, Ask.fm’s marketed anonymity makes it easy for anyone to ask YOU on YOUR profile questions. They can be nasty and mean but they’re asking YOU.
On Ask.fm:
- A user creates a profile (most kids use their real names and location – which is dumb, obviously)
For this example we’ll call her Sally Smith from Topeka Kansas - Another user can ask the first user any question at all anonymously
Another user we’ll call Jenny Jones from Topeka Kansas - Jenny goes onto Sally’s Ask.Fm page and posts a question – questions like the following are extremely common on Ask.fm
* Why are you such a whore?
* Why don’t you kill yourself?
* Do your parents hate you as much as everyone else? - Sally does not know who is posting the question
Now let’s apply the same scenario above to Yik Yak
- A user downloads the app
Which by the way is meant for 17+ college students, and the app maker warns about inappropriate content - The app grabs the user’s location via GPS
- The user posts a comment openly to whomever is listening about whatever
**Do any of you know Sally Smith? She is such a whore
**I’m pretty sure my English teacher – Mr. Taylor- is gay - The post arrives in the feed of anyone physically near the user posting. So you will see the posts from everyone within x radius of you. Think: community wide
- A map accompanies every single post showing exactly where you physically were when you posted
Here is an actual example from my current Yik Yak screen
Note the second post which reads “Gotta feeling this is going to get out of control”.
Actual Yik Yak Feed When we click on that particular post we get this map – apparently whomever posted that comment was inside Vestavia Hills High School at the time
When you click on one of the posts in the screen above you will see that it was posted by someone at Vestavia High School If we zoom in slightly we will know exactly the spot where the user was standing inside of the building when that post was uploaded to Yik Yak
Exact location in the building Biggest Concerns with Yik Yak
Anonymity: This is the same issue with Ask.fm. Anonymity makes bullies feel brave. We can expect to hear a lot more about this app in conjunction with cyberbullying issues.
Posting: It is feasible and reasonable to assume that it won’t be long before the feed becomes my generation’s equivalent of the bathroom wall. “For a good time call….”
Location: This app not only serves up the feed of the posts closest to you (location issue #1), but it then reveals the location of the user posting (location issue #2).
What happens now?
This app is not meant for children. The app makers make that plain in their Android and IOS marketplace descriptions.
According to their marketing language:
– The ultimate way to share your thoughts and recommendations, anonymously.
– Share your own Yaks and see what other people are saying.
– No login, no password, no traces; simply anonymous.
– Upvote and downvote Yaks, see what makes it to the ‘Hot’ page!
– Perfect for college/university students to stay social!Obviously your child should have not have this app on his/her phone.
The only thing we can continue to do is to parent our children. Watch this video for a review on the basics.
Read more from the Blog
- I Disagree Completely With HuffPost Article – Here’s What You Should ACTUALLY Do If You Catch Your Kid Sexting
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, digital strategist, instructor, and the owner of OvernightGeek University. Weinberger is the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Click here to learn more. She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations.
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As I travel around the US teaching internet safety to students, parents, and school districts one of the central topics of discussion is this idea of “media literacy”. What is media literacy?As consumers of media we need to understand when we are being subjected to some sort of media bias 100% of the time. Producers of content are trying to make you FEEL something and believe something which might go against your values.
Do you even realize when it’s happening? The overwhelming percentage of media messages have some sort of bias (even most news outlets). When you hear or see a message can you identify the: sexist, ageist, racist, religious biases, or political agendas?
And please don’t assume that your favorite news agency only leans in one direction. That direction will blow in the wind according to the slate of advertisers on deck. Every opinion is for sale, and the farther you dig into media literacy the clearer that will become.
Being media literate helps you to analyze and evaluate the message you see, hear, and “consume” via all delivery systems: print, radio, television, and digital. Teaching media literacy to young people becomes particularly important because of the massive amount of content teens consume on a daily basis.
The average American teenager spends:
- 31 hours per week watching television
- 17 hours per week listening to music
- 3 hours per week watching movies
- 4 hours per week reading magazines
- 10 hours per week online
GRAND TOTAL: 10 hours and 45 minutes per DAY on mass media consumption (according to a study done by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation).
In addition, an overwhelmingly high percentage of the media bias your child is consuming is sexual in nature.The messages your children receive (depending on what they are watching/hearing/reading) generally takes on slight variations of the same flavor:
young men are shallow and heartless sex seekers
young women should only just care about looking photoshop perfect in order to hook and keep the heartless sex seeker
That’s it – this is the basic lens through which your children consume media. Awesome.
Media Literacy Trick: Consume Great Content
If you want to cultivate media literacy in your home and with your children, you need to lay a foundation of solid and worthwhile content to act as a counterpoint to all of the vomit content which exists in the real world and in the digital ether. Incidentally, most of the real-world “print” vomit content is located at the end of the grocery store check out aisle.
If you our your child are at ALL engaged to the current relative size of a Kardashian’s back side….begin reading this list STAT. You need an intervention.
Amazon.com has put together a list of the 100 Books Every Person should read. Think of this as a literary bucket list.
- Go through the list
- Mom and Dad: Read the ones YOU haven’t read yet
- If appropriate to your child’s reading level/maturity – have your child read it as well
- Discuss the book over dinner – like your own little book club
- Your child’s insights will impress you, they were just waiting to be asked. What took you so long?
Remember as you consume content, don’t shy away from the content which might clash with the values you are trying to teach your own children. For example: A book with violent undertones (ie Hunger Games) can act as a springboard for discussion which will linger in your child’s mind far after the discussion is over.
What to do now?
Go to Amazon.com and check out the list. Begin reading WITH your child, and pay attention to the content your child is consuming.
Like today.
Read more from the Blog
- Awesome #EdTech Tool for Students: Take Notes While You Watch That Video for Class & Export To Google Drive – VideoNot.es Review
- Super Cool #EdTech Tool for Teachers and Parents – SmartestK12 Review
- I Disagree Completely With HuffPost Article – Here’s What You Should ACTUALLY Do If You Catch Your Kid Sexting
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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Here is another very cool tool for teachers, students, and parents.
If your child is assigned an online video to watch either at home or at school make sure that they download VideoNot.es. This very simple interface allows to to input the address of a video and a typing block opens up to the right hand side.
The brilliant bit is that the notes field takes a time stamp every time you begin to type, so that you can go back and watch the video at that point.
In the image below I opened up my video “When is My Child Ready for a Smartphone” video via the YouTube address, and you can see the notes I took on the right with the timestamp.
Ridiculously easy to use and understand. You can use video addresses from YouTube, Khan Academy, Coursera, Vimeo and more.
Create a free login using your Google Account and your notes will be automatically saved to your Google Drive. Alternatively you can share your notes or save them to your hard drive.
Well done VideoNot.es!!
Read more from the Internet Safety Blog
- Super Cool #EdTech Tool for Teachers and Parents – SmartestK12 Review
- I Disagree Completely With HuffPost Article – Here’s What You Should ACTUALLY Do If You Catch Your Kid Sexting
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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Very often I am the sounder of the alarm, the puller of the fire bell to let you know when to beware or just hide altogether. Gratefully today is NOT one of those days.Today I have great news. In my travels through the internet I found an amazing #edtech tool (that’s educational technology for you civilians) for teachers and parents. It’s called SmartestK12 and it was created by eighth grade science teacher Craig Jones who wanted a way out of the madness of inefficient testing and grading.
Did I mention that it’s free??
How it works
Essentially you (teacher, parent, or student) can create an assessment or test in seconds based on the documents you already have.
- take any document you’ve already created
- upload it into the system (takes like 2 seconds)
- highlight the section of the page and assign a question type to it
- send out a code to your students
- your students log in and you get results in real time
So why is this so cool for teachers?
Well duh….you can use every document you’ve ever created as long as you can covert it to a PDF (currently supported Word docs, PDFs and Image files) and turn it into a test in literally seconds. Possible applications:
- You’ve provided your students with a list of vocabulary words. Bing Bang Boom – fill in the blanks test
- For art history you have a Powerpoint of famous paintings – whammo – you have a PDF multiple choice
- There’s a unit on photosynthesis and you need your students to draw the flower and the sun and the arrows – Alakazam – drop in a drawing block and your students can draw a picture or a math problem or a diagram
The feedback is awesome as well. It provides easy tools for teachers to see patterns which then require differentiated responses, and an easy way to communicate with family. In addition grading these assessments will be much easier and quicker to track. Oh, and we’ll murder a lot less trees.
Why is this so cool for parents?
Great question. Parents – here is a super easy way to create quizzes for your kids based on the work they’ve already done in class. Here are some ideas:
- Take a photo of a test they’ve already taken and place the question boxes in the same spot
- Upload the vocabulary list and let your child self-quiz
- Create a short answer test based on the handouts from the teacher
Essentially you will create quizzes for your child in anticipation of the ones your teacher would create. Then, you will have DATA. You will know where your child needs more help and help him/her focus on those areas.
How about students?
Your children already have their entire heads inside of their devices (for good or bad) and will be far more willing to study and work for assessments if they can study and take the test on their phone, or tablet, or laptop.
Want to learn more? Watch this video
If you can’t see the video below, REFRESH your browser.
What Should You Do Now?
You can even one-click log-in with your Google account, if you have one. Teachers, don’t miss this opportunity to streamline your classroom workload. Parents, take advantage of this easy tool to help your children study. They might have just run out of excuses. WOO HOO!!!!
Read more from the Internet Safety Blog
- I Disagree Completely With HuffPost Article – Here’s What You Should ACTUALLY Do If You Catch Your Kid Sexting
- Orange City Schools – Brady Middle School ROCKS At Not Becoming Sheep
- Thank you St. Albert the Great Parish & School For Presenting Internet Safety Presentation for Parents
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- California Senate Bill 568: The “Eraser Bill” Will Accidentally Hurt the Cause of Internet Safety
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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On March 6, 2014 I will be presenting at OASSA’s Hot Topics Session in Columbus, Ohio. The Ohio Association of Secondary School Administrators offers its members many benefits including professional development.
The Hot Topic Conference being held on March 6th will include speakers on ethics, the legal aspects of teacher evaluations and other “happening now” hot topics.
I will be presenting: “2014 Digital Underbelly: How to react when serious life-changing tech issues affect your students”
Description: This presentation covers the vastly misunderstood reality of your students’ digital life (and the issues are way larger than just cyberbullying). Every day, your students are engaging in behaviors which are resulting in serious life-changing consequences. Learn what to look for, and how to be reactive AND proactive when digital issues land in your hallways and in your office.Member AND Nonmembers are welcome to attend all OASSA events. Hope to see you there!
More information on OASSA and this event in particular
- Register for the March 6th Hot Topics Conference Agenda & Registration Download
- OASSA Website
- Become an OASSA Member
- Future OASSA Events
Read more from the Internet Safety Blog
- Orange City Schools – Brady Middle School ROCKS At Not Becoming Sheep
- Thank you St. Albert the Great Parish & School For Presenting Internet Safety Presentation for Parents
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- California Senate Bill 568: The “Eraser Bill” Will Accidentally Hurt the Cause of Internet Safety
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, digital strategist, instructor, and the owner of OvernightGeek University. Weinberger is the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Click here to learn more. She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations.
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Credit: Flickr: Pro Juventute Rachel Busman, PsyD recently published a Huffington Post article called Caught Your Kid Sexting, Now What?
Dr. Busman makes great points related to parent education; a point I stress when teaching parents, students, and school districts. Parents must become educated when it comes to their child’s actual digital life. Once educated, parents need to engage at every level of their child’s digital experience. And yes that means setting limitations (GASP!) and snooping.
- Is it hard? Yes.
- Is it exhausting? Yes.
- Do you have any other choice? No.
For the record
I take issue with just a few things in Busman’s article
- Tweens and teens no longer use Facebook. Seriously. If we’re going to talk about being educated about your child’s actual digital life, trust me – Facebook isn’t included in their repertoire of potential cootie-inducing-platforms. Put a closer eye to: Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat, and Ask.fm
- Sexting is a felony. If your child takes a sexually suggestive photo of him/herself and sends it to someone else, even another child – your child may very likely be charged with a F-E-L-O-N-Y. And it’s happening every single day. Sexting is unlike alcohol use, breaking curfew, or other relatively minor youthful transgressions. Your child’s future is at risk, quite literally, at the hands of the device he is carrying in his back pocket.
- The reality of this situation is that teens are losing their: lives (via sextortion, suicide, and homicide), personal reputations, athletic and academic college scholarships, college acceptances, and in some cases their personal freedom as they go to jail or get listed on a child predator registry (or both). (Note: Yes, your little angel can be listed as a sexual predator if convicted of sexting which is actually a charge of creation, possession, and/or trafficking of child pornography – which will do wonders for their future career options.)
She said WHAT?
I agree with Busman when it comes to her points on : parent education and rule setting. But then, she says that if you do, in fact, catch your child sexting:
“Hard as it may be, you want your tone to be open and concerned — not angry and blaming, or shocked and horrified. You don’t want to start out by slapping on a bunch of restrictions. You’re not going to be able to have a real conversation if you do that, and kids will be more prone to do an end-run around the rules if they don’t feel that you understand them. Social media may not seem important to you, but it can seem like life or death to teenagers.”
OK, so this shocks me a little bit. I think I even sucked in my breath and muttered an “oh, HELL no”.
I happen to be a huge supporter of our teens and I love meeting your children when I present at schools all over the United States. The vast majority of these kids are smart and funny. They’re trying hard to just get through a life that seems like some sort of medieval obstacle course complete with swinging blades and burning bales of hay. Your children need your help. As a parent that “help” can sometimes require you to push, and other times pull.
Grab a Hammer
Busman recommends calm and NOT slapping on a bunch of restrictions. Really?
If I have done my part as a parent; if I have taken the time and effort to become educated as to my child’s digital life; if I have become engaged and asked all the right questions; if I have set rules and I’ve tried to be a good digital role model; if I have told my child to NOT take a photo of her junk, if my child KNOWS this…..and still she takes a photo of said junk? There will be no calm and there will be no discussion.
I’ve been teaching Internet Safety since 2003 and I’ve seen parents come and go by the score. And let me tell you this. If your do not make your child’s digital life stop on a dime the first time something happens? You’re cooked.
This is not the time for understanding, coddling, or anything else other than unadulterated consequences. For me, that requires smashing the phone with a hammer. That’s it. Done. There have got to be consequences within your home. If your child knows the rules and breaks them, feel free to break the phone.
I agree with Busman’s point that :
Social media may not seem important to you, but it can seem like life or death to teenagers.
My response? Your child broke the family contract. If their digital social life is so critical to their well being, then they should NOT have broken the contract. When are your children supposed to understand actual life consequences if you don’t provide them in the home? The real world is NOT going to be filled with calm and understanding: police officers, prosecutors, landlords, or even in-laws.
Sexting is not alcohol, it’s not drugs, or even sex – which could potentially be “dabbled in” as a course of becoming an adult; a sort of “learning lessons” along the way.
If you do not provide these consequences at home your local prosecutor and online sex predator would be more than happy to do so in your place. But I promise you, you won’t like the results.
Read more from the Internet Safety Blog
- Orange City Schools – Brady Middle School ROCKS At Not Becoming Sheep
- Thank you St. Albert the Great Parish & School For Presenting Internet Safety Presentation for Parents
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- California Senate Bill 568: The “Eraser Bill” Will Accidentally Hurt the Cause of Internet Safety
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, speaker, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Click here to learn more. She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations.
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I have no idea what I was thinking in this particular photo other than the fact that Big Mama does NOT look amused This week I spent 2 full days teaching middle schoolers at Brady Middle School (part of the Orange City Schools) in Orange, Ohio. It was a total of twelve 50 minute sessions delivered in back-to-back-to-back rapid fire method. It was a total blast.
The kids at Brady Middle are hilarious. In my most popular internet safety presentation for upper-school students – “Don’t Be A Sheep“ – we begin with media literacy. We ask questions like “If Abercrombie and Fitch sell clothing why are their ads always filled with primarily naked models?”. We learned that if you are a young man who wears Axe™ body spray, that half-naked angels will come hurtling across the cosmos just to smell you. And that if you are a young lady, most “vomit magazines” presume that your only role in life is to find a man and only by wielding your perfect body/hair/nails/face/clothing you will keep him.
The Brady Middle kids did not miss a beat. We collectively laughed our faces off at what mass media would have us believe and agreed that we would no longer “be sheep” at the media messages being forced down our throats.
But what about other influences and threats? I told them that their generation of children are being “hyper-sexualized”. When I asked them what they thought that meant, hilarity ensued. I can’t share most of the comments here, but I CAN tell you what it does NOT mean:
- having sex really, really fast
- having cyber-sex (kudos to the kid who knew this was even a thing)
- being “hyper” while you have sex
- “extreme” sex – (note: I think this young man was referring to some variation of “extreme sports” but I did not feel brave enough to ask)
They agreed that they have access to, and consume significant amounts of sexualized content – some their parents know about, most they don’t know about.
We moved on to cyberbullying, sexual predation, and sexting. We talked about the people in the world who would do them harm – including the boogeyman in the night as well as potentially their own classmates. The conversations were open and very, very frank. I told them my ultimate goal was to make someone vomit. I came close.I shared with them my ‘Big Mama’ directives which are non-negotiable:
- get rid of Ask.fm and SnapChat altogether – no exceptions
- get rid of Kik
- lock down their Twitter and Instagram profiles to PRIVATE
- remove ‘location services’ from their devices
- put a post it note over webcams on all devices (including tablets and gaming systems)
- never post “gonna-be” content – (posting in advance where you’re ‘gonna be’)
- never, ever take photos of your junk (it’s a felony)
- never, ever ask anyone ELSE to take a photo of their junk (it’s a felony)
- if mom has to remind you to wash said junk, no one wants to see a photo of it anyhow – seriously
In the final analysis I found the students willing to have the conversation. They were open, and witty, and smart – even as they do dopey things and stumble through middle school.
Thank you kiddos of BMS, you made my job much easier just by being who you are. And remember what I said, if BMS administrators have to call me back for any reason, I will NOT be a happy camper. Do the right thing – and Don’t Be A Sheep.
Parents – you’re next…..the parent version will be held on March 4, 2104. In the meantime, you can read these internet safety tips for parents….stay tuned.
Special thanks to:
- Orange City Schools and Brady Middle School (BMS Twitter) and (Facebook)
- Principal Brian Frank and Asst. Principal Darla Wagner, as well as the entire tech and guidance staff who spent two days running in and out of that room to make sure it all went well. I was incredibly impressed with the professionalism, organization, and dedicated of your entire team. Well done!
- Orange PTA especially Lisa Goodman ,Wendy Blaszak, and Tracy Russo (as well as the general Orange PTA team)
Read more from the Internet Safety Blog
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- California Senate Bill 568: The “Eraser Bill” Will Accidentally Hurt the Cause of Internet Safety
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, digital strategist, instructor, and the owner of OvernightGeek University. Weinberger has created an online course for parents and families called Internet Safety for Families.
She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations.
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(l to r) Mr. Ed Vittardi (Principal of St. Albert the Great), Me, Fr. Edward Estok (Pastor of St. Albert the Great Church), and Theresa Basch (Technology Coordinator of St. Albert the Great School) Last night amidst a wind/ice/frogs/holy-cow snow storm, I had the absolute privilege of presenting to approximately 250 parents, teachers, and community members at St. Albert the Great Church in North Royalton, Ohio.
I have to be honest. Despite having attended Catholic schools for 12 years, I had SERIOUS misgivings about presenting from the altar of a church. I was fully expecting a lightning bolt to come straight through the ceiling and reduce me to a puddle of goo. (By the way, what is the past-tense of “smite”? I know it’s not “smitten” or “smoted”.)
When I shared my fears with Fr. Ed he said “Why are you afraid? Are you PLANNING on saying something inappropriate?”. Says I: “No Father, but that implies I know what I’m going to say before it comes flying out of my face.”
Onward and upward though….and after two hours we had covered:
- The current “state of the union” in terms of the digital environment in which your children live
- Which platforms are the riskiest and which to outlaw in your home altogether
- Cyberbullying
- Sexual Predation
- Sexting
- Social Media – generally and specifically
To the participants who attended: you asked incredibly insightful and mindful questions at every stage of the presentation. Just your willingness to become educated and create digital rules in your homes reduces your overall risk level. Your motivation to create a better digital environment improves the overall digital environment. As they say, “it takes a village”, but my version is: “it takes a village and a hammer”. Thank you all for making me feel welcome.
So, in the end I was not smoted (?), but I will say that all of the lights in the church spontaneously went OUT at one time about 15 minutes after I was done….seriously.
Special thanks to:
- St. Albert the Great School‘s administration include Mr. Vittardi and Mrs. Basch
- St. Albert the Great’s PTO (Facebook)
- St. Albert the Great Parish, and Fr. Ed Estok
- The Partnership for a Healthy North Royalton (PHNR) (Twitter) (Facebook)
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, digital strategist, instructor, and the owner of OvernightGeek University. Weinberger has created an online course for parents and families called Internet Safety for Families.She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and
organizations.
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I spend my days teaching Internet Safety to schools, parents, and students just like you. I never have to explain to students what Ask.fm is, because you already know and chances are you have a profile. (If you don’t know what Ask.fm is – read this article for the low-down)You already know that Ask.fm is not a safe place to share information. I don’t know why some teachers and even parents treat teens and tweens like they’re stupid – clearly you’re not.
You already know that:
- Ask.fm has been linked to suicides all over the world
- Because Ask.fm is an anonymous site, lots of trolls will hide behind that anonymity and engage in nasty behavior
- Many of your friends (or you) have already been bullied. Most of the so-called bullying isn’t a big deal because you and your friends know who the person is and you just ignore it. But sometimes it gets ugly, and sometimes it’s hard to get away from. And sometimes it really hurts, and most of the time you act like it doesn’t
Dealing with Pressure
Parents constantly ask me – “if this is all true, then why do the kids keep going back onto the site, and sites like this?”. Here’s what I tell them – and if I’m wrong I want you to tell me (tweet me here). I tell parents that you like to be connected to your friends, and even when it’s overwhelming and gets annoying (or certain people get annoying), you’d rather put up with the annoying and remain connected, it’s one of your only outlets even at the best or worst of times.
Your generation has an immense amount of pressure coming from all sides. Many parents expect you to always put forward an immense amount of effort on everything. Sometimes it feels like you can’t get anything right. Then there’s the social pressure at school added to the academic pressure, added to the pressure to be a sports-kid even if you don’t want to be a sports-kid; add in thinking about college or NOT thinking about college and sometimes it feels like you want to pop.
I get it. Seriously, I get it. (PS Hang in there, it gets better. And believe it or not, your parents are there to help.)
Is Ask.fm Evil?
Then parents ask me – “why are these companies allowed to exist if they’re harmful to our kids?”. Now that’s a better question. So here’s the thing – Ask.fm did not create their platform to cause harm. I don’t believe for a second that they are malicious people, or that they’re happy when young people commit suicide or get involved in sextortion, or worse. HOWEVER, their business is NOT to care about you. Did you hear that? Their business is to make money, that’s all.
And when you are a company hoping to make millions, or ten of millions of dollars off of young people, sometimes you assume that your audience is stupid. Make no mistake, most of the companies which market to young people think that you are a bunch of morons. Don’t forget this point.
- Sneaker companies think that YOU really believe that just buying those new kicks are going to make you faster/better/stronger.
- Ladies: clothing companies think that YOU really believe that those “women’s” pants (made for a 5 year old) are going to look the same on you as they do on the photoshopped model in the ad.
- Guys: deodorant companies think that you REALLY believe that if you use their stinky products that hot chicks will maul you in an elevator.
- And Ask.fm wants you to believe that communicating online anonymously is a smart and valuable use of your time.
You’re not stupid. You see other kids all over the world committing suicide or at the very minimum getting their feelings hurt on this totally unnecessary platform. And you know that there are eleventy-gajillion other ways to communicate with each other. You certainly don’t need Ask.fm to connect to your friends – you already do that in a bunch of different way. So why do it?
What to do now
Here’s what I’m asking you to do:
- Deactivate your Ask.fm account
Log into your account, go to [Settings] in the top right hand corner of the page, go to the profile page and chose the [Disable Account] option. - Send a tweet or Instagram post to the companies who advertise on Ask.fm just to make sure that THEY know that you aren’t stupid (see list below)
Be sure to use the hashtag #dontaskfm - Spread the word to your entire social network
- Pat yourself on the back, you’ve proven that you won’t grow up to be a total jerk
Oh, and just one last thing – stop taking pictures of your junk. It’s going to land you in jail. But that’s another topic.
Now get to work!!
Let’s tell these advertisers what we think
Click each and every image below – it will retweet the message to let these companies know that they need to stop advertising on Ask.fm
4Inkjets.com
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
Petflow.com
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
BrightRoll
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
LL Bean
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
Aer Lingus
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
JustFab Online (US)
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
Just Fab – in the UK
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
PollShare
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
Seagate
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
Gilt
Click on this link to Retweet this message to your Twitter followers
Read more from the Internet Safety Blog
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- California Senate Bill 568: The “Eraser Bill” Will Accidentally Hurt the Cause of Internet Safety
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, presenter, and the owner of OvernightGeek University. She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to
navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations.
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