Testimonials
Schools, organizations, and students rave about Internet Safety Presenter Jesse Weinberger
“Big Mama, you’re right, I’m going to cut my device time and eat more dirt. My mom needs to do everything you say – she has no idea what’s really going on.”
“I have been a technology professional for 20 years and I thought I had a good understanding of what it meant to be safe on the internet. Jesse opened my eyes. Whether you are a technology novice or a so called expert, you will learn something that you will start applying immediately. ”
“Please accept our sincere appreciation for your outstanding presentation. Your session was a huge hit with the SRO and DARE officers. It was informative, funny, and irreverent, all the right ingredients for law enforcement. Since I’m from New Jersey I could really relate to your comments about your parents who were not big believers in coddling their children. Thank you for speaking to our group and sharing your time and talent to instruct so many of our school law enforcement.”
“Thank you for what you do. We needed this information to be drilled into us from the start. We didn’t know what we were doing.”
“This is the best presentation I’ve heard all year. I’ve learned so much it’s amazing. Thank you! PS You are very entertaining too. 🙂 ”
“Big Mama, I want to thank you – that was disturbing AND awesome all at the same time.”
“On behalf of the administration and Ramaz community, heartfelt thanks for a powerful and substantive presentation. We’re sure you have heard this countless time, but your dynamic speaking style, total command of the latest information about internet safety, and no nonsense, direct approach is such a winning combination. Cameras are being taped, apps are being deleted, parents are organizing, and the community is buzzing – all testimony to how effective you were. We couldn’t have hoped for more.”
“I sincerely thank you for coming to our community and talking to not only our children this week, but to us last night. Your message was priceless. I’m beyond grateful for the impact I saw in my 6th grade quiet son. He came home and spontaneously blurted out “Mom, I do know you love me!” My son thinks you’re great, that you’re “real”, and that he could tell that you cared. He sat down and unloaded all the anxiety he was carrying (at the age of 11) over how many of his friends are hiding apps and behavior, and that he can’t sleep sometimes because of what they tell him. Now we talk “real” every day. Thank you for all of this. My husband and I thank you!”
“Thank you very much! You were very educational and funny!”
“Jesse Weinberger is a presenter that all parents should be required to see! She tells it like it is, in a way that will scare you… in a good way! You must, must, must hear her tips on internet safety. I’m on Facebook and on Instagram… oh boy I had no idea! Jesse’s no nonsense approach and interactive delivery make this sometimes touchy subject fun and fact filled.”
“Thank you Jesse Weinberger for a fantastic Internet Safety presentation to our 4th and 6th grade Girl Scouts! You tackled the important topic of internet safety without boring the girls with statistics and sounding like a “mom”. The girls were laughing and asking questions – no small feat! I really appreciate the time you took with our group and encourage all parents to get up to speed on this important safety issue! “
“I wanted to personally thank you for your leadership while working with Kenston stakeholders this year. I was reflecting on your impact after both presentations. One of the main reasons parents showed up on Tuesday is because students clearly respect who you are and followed the orders to go home and talk to mom/or dad on what they learned. Your presentation skills are spot on, especially how you win over every audience with an authentic approach but also how you connect by sharing personal and family experiences that are real. Thanks again for your time!”
Parents: Teach Media Literacy to Children; Consume Worthwhile Media FIRST: 100 Books Every Human Should Read
As consumers of media we need to understand when we are being subjected to some sort of media bias 100% of the time. Producers of content are trying to make you FEEL something and believe something which might go against your values.
Do you even realize when it’s happening? The overwhelming percentage of media messages have some sort of bias (even most news outlets). When you hear or see a message can you identify the: sexist, ageist, racist, religious biases, or political agendas?
And please don’t assume that your favorite news agency only leans in one direction. That direction will blow in the wind according to the slate of advertisers on deck. Every opinion is for sale, and the farther you dig into media literacy the clearer that will become.
Being media literate helps you to analyze and evaluate the message you see, hear, and “consume” via all delivery systems: print, radio, television, and digital. Teaching media literacy to young people becomes particularly important because of the massive amount of content teens consume on a daily basis.
The average American teenager spends:
GRAND TOTAL: 10 hours and 45 minutes per DAY on mass media consumption (according to a study done by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation).
In addition, an overwhelmingly high percentage of the media bias your child is consuming is sexual in nature.The messages your children receive (depending on what they are watching/hearing/reading) generally takes on slight variations of the same flavor:
That’s it – this is the basic lens through which your children consume media. Awesome.
Media Literacy Trick: Consume Great Content
If you want to cultivate media literacy in your home and with your children, you need to lay a foundation of solid and worthwhile content to act as a counterpoint to all of the vomit content which exists in the real world and in the digital ether. Incidentally, most of the real-world “print” vomit content is located at the end of the grocery store check out aisle.
If you our your child are at ALL engaged to the current relative size of a Kardashian’s back side….begin reading this list STAT. You need an intervention.
Amazon.com has put together a list of the 100 Books Every Person should read. Think of this as a literary bucket list.
Remember as you consume content, don’t shy away from the content which might clash with the values you are trying to teach your own children. For example: A book with violent undertones (ie Hunger Games) can act as a springboard for discussion which will linger in your child’s mind far after the discussion is over.
What to do now?
Go to Amazon.com and check out the list. Begin reading WITH your child, and pay attention to the content your child is consuming.
Like today.
I Disagree Completely With HuffPost Article – Here’s What You Should ACTUALLY Do If You Catch Your Kid Sexting
Rachel Busman, PsyD recently published a Huffington Post article called Caught Your Kid Sexting, Now What?
Dr. Busman makes great points related to parent education; a point I stress when teaching parents, students, and school districts. Parents must become educated when it comes to their child’s actual digital life. Once educated, parents need to engage at every level of their child’s digital experience. And yes that means setting limitations (GASP!) and snooping.
For the record
I take issue with just a few things in Busman’s article
She said WHAT?
I agree with Busman when it comes to her points on : parent education and rule setting. But then, she says that if you do, in fact, catch your child sexting:
OK, so this shocks me a little bit. I think I even sucked in my breath and muttered an “oh, HELL no”.
I happen to be a huge supporter of our teens and I love meeting your children when I present at schools all over the United States. The vast majority of these kids are smart and funny. They’re trying hard to just get through a life that seems like some sort of medieval obstacle course complete with swinging blades and burning bales of hay. Your children need your help. As a parent that “help” can sometimes require you to push, and other times pull.
Grab a Hammer
Busman recommends calm and NOT slapping on a bunch of restrictions. Really?
If I have done my part as a parent; if I have taken the time and effort to become educated as to my child’s digital life; if I have become engaged and asked all the right questions; if I have set rules and I’ve tried to be a good digital role model; if I have told my child to NOT take a photo of her junk, if my child KNOWS this…..and still she takes a photo of said junk? There will be no calm and there will be no discussion.
I’ve been teaching Internet Safety since 2003 and I’ve seen parents come and go by the score. And let me tell you this. If your do not make your child’s digital life stop on a dime the first time something happens? You’re cooked.
This is not the time for understanding, coddling, or anything else other than unadulterated consequences. For me, that requires smashing the phone with a hammer. That’s it. Done. There have got to be consequences within your home. If your child knows the rules and breaks them, feel free to break the phone.
I agree with Busman’s point that :
My response? Your child broke the family contract. If their digital social life is so critical to their well being, then they should NOT have broken the contract. When are your children supposed to understand actual life consequences if you don’t provide them in the home? The real world is NOT going to be filled with calm and understanding: police officers, prosecutors, landlords, or even in-laws.
Sexting is not alcohol, it’s not drugs, or even sex – which could potentially be “dabbled in” as a course of becoming an adult; a sort of “learning lessons” along the way.
If you do not provide these consequences at home your local prosecutor and online sex predator would be more than happy to do so in your place. But I promise you, you won’t like the results.
VIDEO: Parents: When is My Child Ready for a Smartphone?
As an Internet Safety Expert and presenter – this is the most common question I get from parents. Generally speaking, their child is pestering them for a phone because EVERYONE else has one. The trouble is that your child is probably not exaggerating. So what should you do? If your child is under 13 years old, just say no.
And if she keeps bugging you, pour yourself a glass of wine and watch my video again. I’m here for you!! Stay strong parents. Say no!!
VIDEO: Internet Safety Speaker: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
[embedyt] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEbdy9t_vSw[/embedyt]
Internet Safety Expert Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
Jesse Weinberger, Internet Safety Speaker discusses cyberbullying as a general issue, and the role of parents as a specific potential remedy.
A Parent’s Best Weapon Against Cyberbullying: Being an Actual Parent
Photo Credit: CBS News
Another day, another cyberbullying, online safety tragedy. This one happened early September 2013 when a beautiful 12 year old – Rebecca Sedwick, died by suicide in Lakeland Florida. She had been the victim of relentless IRL (in real life) and online cyberbullying.
Apparently she dated the wrong girl’s boyfriend. Fourteen year old Guadalupe Shaw bullied Rebecca relentlessly along with FOURTEEN other girls. That’s right, Shaw convinced fourteen other girls to team up against Rebecca. If the mob didn’t comply, they would face the wrath of being bullied themselves. Nice, huh?
The online platforms of choice were: Facebook, Kik, and Ask.fm. If you are a frequent reader of this blog you already know how I feel about Ask.fm. And it bears repeating now: Your child (regardless of age) should never, never, never, never have an Ask.fm profile – ever. Is that clear enough for you?
Consequences? What are those?
And here’s something else which is utterly shocking to me. After Rebecca committed suicide (by jumping off a concrete silo), and after Guadalupe (the alleged ringleader) posted on her Facebook page: “Yes ik [I know] I bullied Rebecca and she killed her self but IDGAF [I don’t give a (f***)], and after Guadalupe was questioned by the police and after she readily admitted to bullying Rebecca….Guadalupe’s parents allowed Guadalupe to keep her phone. Huh?
Polk County Sherrif Judd said:
Trust, verify (rinse, repeat)
Let me speak very plainly (!!):
How young is too young?
If you have recently spent any time around a 14 or 15 year old, you will quickly come to the conclusion that young teens are merely taller, hairier 3 year olds. They bounce from topic to topic and app to app looking to engage, or hide – or whatever their impulse du jour is. And this is developmentally appropriate. They are supposed to act like tall, hairy 3 year olds.
Children are still children until they are well into their high school years. They do not have the physical/cognitive/emotional/social maturity which 24-7 connectivity demands. Those skills develop with time and experience.
But it’s hard – blah blah
I recognize that it’s hard to be a parent in the 21st century. And there’s a lot to learn – all the time. I teach Internet Safety for a living and I am constantly learning the new and nauseating ways children get themselves into trouble. But you have *no choice* as a parent.
Actually that’s not true; you actually have two choices: 1. Don’t give a device to your child or 2. Give a device to your child and engage in the education and monitoring process.
There is no third choice. Sorry.
Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
If you’ve seen any of my live or online Internet Safety for Families presentations, you already know that I tend to lose my mind a little when talking about the “Gonna Be” posts. This is not a technical term, just an off-hand comment which stuck. Feel free to bandy it about at cocktail parties…
“Gonna-Be” posting quite simply is where you tell the entire world where you are GOING TO BE (and also where you currently are). Think about it for a moment. In your eternal zeal to make the rest of us on Facebook jealous about your trip to Thailand (and believe me, I hate you for it) you post the following:
Good golly – do you all realize that the scenario above is played out ad nauseum by adults *and* kids on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram?
Why are “Gonna-Be” Posts Dangerous?
I’m consistently surprised by the surprised faces and reactions to this subject. Tweens and teens “gonna be” post all the time about sporting events, social events, and pretty much every aspect of their lives; on platforms which are asynchronous (asynchronous platforms do not require an agreement to connect – anyone can follow you) which means anyone and everyone might be listening.
Vacation “gonna bes” reveal way too much information:
Kid’s “gonna be” posts are unsafe for far more sinister reasons:
Killjoy Revisited
You don’t have to stop posting photos or attempting to engender jealousy and hatred among your online “friends” – just do it after the fact:
Bottom Line
You cannot answer for every single Facebook friend, Twitter/Instagram follower you have. Most kids have no idea who 30% of those followers are. As parents we need to lead by example. If your children see you creating “gonna be” posts, then they will too.
Parents: take advantage of this teachable moment and explain to your kids just why you are NOT going to post that selfie. Unless of course you aren’t really emotionally attached to that expensive wide-screen television waiting back in your living room or, for that matter, your peace of mind.
In which case, rock on doofus.