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If you’re under 60 years old, chances are that you use your laptop or tablet in bed or on a couch resting on your lap – hence the “lap” in laptop. You may even have noticed a humming or whirring sound coming from your laptop as its internal fan attempts to cool down the device. High temperatures and electronic devices don’t mix. If you’ve ever visited the server room at your company (the place where all of the computer servers are kept) you’ll wish you had brought a parka. In order to protect the components, server rooms are kept exceedingly cold – remember that the next time you need to keep 40 pounds of pastrami fresh.
But if you’re a man you should be monitoring more than just the temperature of your devices (or your pastrami). Conventional medical wisdom has long recommended that men keeping their undercarriage as cool as possible by staying away from hot tubs and super tight clothing. However, as the portability and constant use of electronic devices rise, our daily habits also change. Constantly using electronic devices expands the length of time and places the devices are used.
Several studies have connected extended time of increased lap and groin temperature with an increase in scrotal temperature – which seems to lead to the production of abnormally shaped sperm. These new “warmer” sperm are less effective in penetrating the egg, diminishing fertility.
BOTTOM LINE: Gentlemen (of all ages) use a lap desk of some sort at all times. Parents of boys – here’s to ONE MORE THING to worry about…the future grandchildren you don’t even want to think about yet.
READ THE STUDY HERE: Hagai Levine, Niels Jørgensen, Anderson Martino-Andrade, Jaime Mendiola, Dan Weksler-Derri, Irina Mindlis, Rachel Pinotti, Shanna H. Swan; Temporal trends in sperm count: a systematic review and meta-regression analysis, Human Reproduction Update, https://doi.org/10.1093/humupd/dmx022
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online. She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for internet safety presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States. -
If “Ecstatic Anticipation” were a perfume, it would be made up of equal parts: autumn leaves and school bus exhaust. Parents everywhere would wistfully dab a bit behind each ear in mid-July as their children stared aimlessly at a glowing screen. Despite our best intentions, in the absence of the structure of a school day, the summer months can be filled with high rates of digital device use.
Why less is better
Last year I presented to over 70,000 students and gathered millions of lines of self-reported student data. Here’s what I’ve found consistently (regardless of socio economics, geography, or school type):
- The age of onset of pornography consumption is 8 years old
- The age of onset of pornography addiction is 11 years old
- Sexting is beginning in the 4th grade (sexting = sending sexualized or “sexy” content via phone/web)
- Smartphone ownership begins as young as 2nd grade (7 years old)
There is no question that children who have unfettered, unsupervised access to web-enabled devices are multiplying their risk of being a victim and/or becoming a perpetrator of cyberbullying, sexting, sexual predation, and human sex trafficking – not to mention the absurd amount of pornography which is being consumed by extremely young children. The single thread which binds all of these risks together is access. Every single one of these risks requires access to the device in order to exist. Simply speaking: minimizing your child’s access minimizes their risk.
Changing any single habit or behavior can be tough – changing several can seem almost impossible. However, if you think just in terms of time and location, it will be far easier to cultivate and enforce healthier digital behaviors.
Time-based restrictions
No smartphones under 14 years old. In this case, the best place to begin is to not begin at all. A child under 14 years old has zero justification for owning a smartphone. (If there is a divorce situation – buy your child a flip phone.) Wherever you begin, your child will expect to expand on that starting point. If you bought an iPod Touch for your 8-year-old, the expectation to “upgrade” to a phone will come earlier rather than if the iPod Touch was gifted when the child turned 12 years old instead.
One-hour non-academic time per day. From that first day of school, the biggest difference in your child’s digital behavior comes from the reduced amount of time he has available to spend on devices. There are several studies suggesting that anything more than one hour of non-academic screen time per day increases your child’s digital risks. This solution also supports the idea of being mindful via proactive portion control versus reactively becoming a victim to the consequences.
Not on a school night. A great solution, especially for students in 6th grade and younger – no gaming or device use on school nights (Monday through Thursday). This is my favorite time-based solution mostly because it’s simple, super easy to enforce, travels easily with your child, and has fantastic outcomes.
Not before bed. Regardless of the day of the week or the person (this means you too dad) no one in your home should be using their phone, tablet, or laptop less than one hour before bedtime. The blue light waves given off by a backlit screen (versus a television) confuse your brain’s circadian rhythms into thinking it’s morning and it’s time to wake up. Additionally, this blue light can make a negative impact on the neural messages sent to your internal organs. If you look at your phone right before bed and you can’t sleep – that could be why.
Not after mom and dad have gone to bed. There comes a natural tipping point when children stay awake later than their parents. It’s very hard to keep an eye on what’s going on when, well, your eyes are closed. The easiest solution is to move the wifi/router into or near your bedroom and plug it into an outlet which has a timer. This way the power gets automatically shut off at X o’clock each night. The low tech solution? Yank the power cord out of the router as you head off to bed.
Location based restrictions
Not in the dead zone. Create dead zones for technology in your home – these are specific locations where devices are forbidden. Here are a few suggestions: all cell phones (including mom’s and dad’s) can travel through the kitchen but can never stop at the dinner table….no devices should ever be sitting or charging on a nightstand….there should be zero posting, texting, or web surfing during a family outing – especially while eating, etc.
Create a charging station. At X o’clock every evening all cell phones should be placed in a predetermined charging location. This includes your child’s friend’s phones if they’re sleeping at your home. Be sure to make it clear to their parents that this rule is non-negotiable.
Change the view. Make your children play outside! Studies show extended lengths of time engaged in immersive tech usage negatively impacts impulse control and anxiety. Conversely physical exertion and exercise increase blood flow to the brain which improves impulse control and lessens anxiety.
As parents, we’re expected to be infallible and omniscient – a tough combination. Mistakes and missed opportunities are inevitable. It happens to all of us. Going back to school in the fall is a natural time to re-engage. It might be hard, but don’t lose heart. You can do this. #BeFierceBeUnafraid.
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online. She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States. -
Here it is, August AGAIN and here comes a new school year AGAIN. Is it just me, or can life feel like a never ending viewing of Groundhog Day? (I’ve got you babe…) Personally, my work and speaking schedule follows the typical school calendar. As a result, I use the summer months to finish writing projects, add new educational features, and plan the coming speaking year. The beginning of the school year is an obvious time to reinforce established family rules and possibly implement new ones as a response to your children growing older.
So here’s my contribution to both of those efforts: taking stock of where we’ve been and adding new educational opportunities.
How we got here
At the end of the 2016-2017 school year, I felt the need to reassess where this is all headed. I had successfully presented to well over 70k audience participants (students, parents, educators, and law enforcement), I had gathered hundreds of thousands of rows of anonymized student data and feedback, and (perhaps most importantly) I had been a live witness to hundreds of students reporting their experiences with child exploitation, sexual predation, porn addiction, sexting (tons), and even sex trafficking.
Over the past few years, I have become friendly with law enforcement personnel who have acted as a sounding board as well as a much-needed voice of reason (I tend to come with child protection ideas involving an aluminum baseball bat ala Hollis Queens). I called a detective friend of mine and said to her “I feel like the building is burning and I’m the only one who can see it, do you ever feel that way?” She said “Everyday”, which made me feel better and worse. Better because I’m clearly not the only one. And worse because the building is in fact burning, and not enough people can see it.
My end-of-year reassessment then took a new tack – How do I share this message with the highest number of people without spending 365 days on the road, having my family hate me, and end up shaving my head, moving to a Tibetan ashram and living out the rest of my days in silent meditation? (I’ll be honest, that last bit still sounds AWESOME.)
So I’ve come up with a list of goals for moving forward and I’d like to share them with you here:
- Increase my output of content dramatically in ways which can be easily consumed by all of you – including audio versions of blog posts and articles
- Create new online outlets for education – several free so that everyone can participate, several at very low cost for school districts who can’t afford to have me come out and speak.
Where we’re headed
WEBSITE
Beginning now, with this post, the blog on my website is undergoing a complete re-birth (or actually just birth since the first iteration wasn’t particularly consistent). Because of Google search algorithms and reasons way TOO tedious and nerdy to explain (trust me you won’t care) -I will be posting a significant amount of my content on the website as blog posts. But don’t worry I will be cross-promoting those pieces on my Facebook page and in the twice-monthly emails – so you won’t miss anything.
BOOKS
#1 Last May I was able to complete and publish the 2nd edition of my book The Boogeyman Exists; And He’s in Your Child’s Back Pocket. (Thank you to all of the parents who waited so patiently after the publish date was pushed back several times.)- Click here to purchase the book.
- Check your emails and the Facebook page for promotional codes for book purchases. Sign up for e-newsletter here.
#2 I’m hard at work for the Boogeyman version for kids called After the Boogeyman Leaves: The Stories Kids Want You To Hear. The print version of this book will publish on December 1st and is meant for a middle school and older audience. Additional downloadable materials will be available on the website to extend the book’s content by educators in the classroom or parents at home.
EMAILS
Beginning August 2017, if you’ve signed up for the e-newsletter, you will be receiving a twice monthly e-newsletter with a review of my latest blog posts, audio posts, coming events, and tons of other content to help you remain educated. I will never waste your time with fluff, and I will NEVER, EVER share or sell your email address. (If you start getting emails from a Nigerian prince, it didn’t come from me, promise.)
SOCIAL MEDIA
The Facebook Page has grown consistently over time and is really the only form of communication I’ve used to any modest level of success.This area will also be expanded via a secondary Facebook GROUP. The group is closed to the public and only “members” are able to join. Eventually, there will be a cost associated with joining the Facebook GROUP – however current Facebook Page fans will be given an opportunity (beginning the week of Sept 20th for 3 weeks only) to join the Facebook Group for free. After the three weeks FREE promotion, the Facebook Group will cost $1/month to join.
Members of the Group will have access to all of the content in the Facebook Page PLUS additional pieces of content created just for group members including audio versions of some posts, longer form analysis of apps, videos, and other educational content for parents and educators. Perhaps most importantly – your privacy is assured. The comments you make within the Facebook Group are NOT indexed by the search mechanism within Facebook, are NOT indexed by Google and can only be seen among members of the Facebook Group.
**I have a hate-hate relationship with Twitter. So far it has only been helpful in connecting me with school contacts and media contacts. That’s the only reason it’s still sticking around. If you follow me on Twitter, make sure you also “like” the Facebook Page because one day I may just decide to kill the Twitter profile.
MYSTERY UPDATE
There is one more update which I’m not prepared to release yet – but it’s kind of big and a game changer for access to parents and sharing content. You’ll have to stay tuned. The expected release date is December 15, 2017 – but I can’t promise yet.
Well, there you have it. That’s where we’ve been, and where we’re headed. The ultimate goal is to reach as many parents and educators as humanly possible. If there’s a feature or a topic you’d like to see covered, please don’t hesitate to let me know.
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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'; Very often on my Facebook page: Facebook.com/OvernightGeekUniversity, I get questions from fans which I attempt to answer as quickly as they arrive.
Photo Credit: ooVoo.com One of the page followers asked for more information on ooVoo…what follows is my response to Marie (thanks Marie for the great question). In the meantime, there’s a new arrival in the cootie community and it’s called Flinch (that review follows below after ooVoo).
Internet Safety Tips for Children & Teens: Big Mama Reviews: ooVoo
ooVoo is essentially a benign videoconferencing app/website. Think: Skype or Facetime. On its own merits there is nothing egregious here. HOWEVER: online gamers have made this their favorite way to see and communicate with each other live while they game. It’s popular among Minecrafters, etc.
Recently, ooVoo has added some other features in addition to the videoconferencing (see below).
What you need to know about ooVoo
- Sexual predators love ooVoo (for obvious reasons).
- Sexual predators can reach out to your child without knowing them in real life via the ooVoo directory. You only need 3 characters of a person’s ooVoo ID to see a list of similar usernames. Sexual predators will troll these and see if they can discern if the user is a child (most are).
- The app/website allows users to group text, group-watch YouTube videos (watch out for the massive amount of porn on YT), and they can also video record a video call (so can the OTHER person communicating with your child)
- Children under 13 are not allowed to setup an account – so they lie about their age – routinely.
- The site captures DOB, gender and other personal info.
- Users can mass-invite all of their Facebook & Twitter friends/followers, all of their Gmail email contacts, and Yahoo email contacts. This means that if they have friended, followed, or emailed people that they don’t know in real life – those same people will be invited to video connect with your child.
First an ooVoo story – are you sitting down?
OGeek fans who have seen my live presentation have heard this story. …
I was presenting to a large audience in NE Ohio, and this mom (to her credit) raised her hand and offered the following story….mom told us how every single day her son would rush off the school bus and snap on the tablet in order to play Minecraft. On this particular day mom got to the tablet before the son did, in order to look up a recipe for dinner. When she turned on the tablet she saw a live and naked man on the screen via ooVoo. This sexual predator was waiting for her son to get home, and she accidentally intercepted the communication.
Bottom line on ooVoo
- Children under 13 have no business using ANY of these apps, social media, or websites per COPPA Federal regulations, but more importantly because *Big Mama said so* ….that’s me 🙂
- The risks here are high – it requires parents needing to constantly be checking in on the child at the moment that he/she happens to be using the app. What makes it more difficult is the fact that if the child has an ooVoo account they can access it on almost ANY device. So you may not even know that he’s using it in the basement on the tablet rather than where you’re expecting him to use it like on the PC.
- Letting your child use this app adds a significant amount of work to YOUR life
- If your child is 13 or 14 I say NO. Well I would say ‘hell no’ – but that’s your call.
- If your child is 15 and up you need to make it clear that sexual predators are on the hunt for kids their age and will do whatever they can to get their hands on them. This is not an over exaggeration. If you don’t want to have that conversation or if they don’t believe you – then ‘no’ is a much easier solution.
The Barf Thickens.
Internet Safety Tips for Children & Teens: Big Mama Reviews: Flinch Game AppPhoto Credit: Flinch Game: http://makemeflinch.com If you’ve read the review above on ooVoo you can probably see why the app/website is a terrible idea for children. But do you know what would be even WORSE? If there were a game based on the ooVoo platform where users can open up a live stream with each other and play a live “game”, competing for example to see who cracks a smile first. Sounds cute. It’s not….and it’s called Flinch
Basically this is the equivalent of a staring contest with friends or strangers. Originally the app was created to be used for adults in a business setting due to its facial recognition. Six million individual games are played every single day and it’s growing by 98k users every single week. The software automatically determines the winner. (yeah so, creepy).
The big issue is that you are LIVE streaming with people you might know, and people you might NOT know. Sound familiar? The option to play with a friend, or randomized play is open to the user. You can’t black list or white list.
The app description in iTunes specifically states that you have to be at least 17 years old to download the app, which of course is being completely ignored by the legion of 11-15 year old’s using the app.
In the end though, Flinch is meant to be a game where you earn tokens in order to purchase in-game distractions so that you can win even more tokens. So we can reward these children (who are not meant to be playing the game in the first place) with points, and tokens, and higher rank. Zing-Pow-BARF
The rest is obvious:
- There is NO WAY that your child is NOT going to accidentally meet up with a sexual predator (see review below from a user)Your child can be victimized by cyberbullies they KNOW and those that they haven’t met yet
- Your child is literally opening up a live visual link into his/her bedroom and into your home
- One user can easily take a screenshot of the other user during the live stream
- The app was CREATED by the app developer for users over 17 years old. Did they really think that young adults and adults were going to spend time playing visual chicken by *smiling*?
Again, just to be clear – it’s not the app developers fault that there are sexual predators in the world who are going to jump all over this, and already have.
Here’s a review that was posted by a Flinch user on the iTunes page for the Flinch App
“This app was so great people wise and now basically the only people I see on here are grown men from Saudi Arabia. This is super difficult with the languages and given the fact that I’m a teenager and want to be talking to other teens rather than horny guys who speak different languages. “
Bottom line review on Flinch Game: Parents: your children under 17 years old should NOT be using Flinch, per the app developers guidelines. This is a big NO.
Did you learn something? **Read. Learn. Share.**
— Jesse “Big Mama” Weinberger
RECENT POSTS
- Snapchat’s hypocrisy: Snapchat is clearly used for sexting, cyberbullying, and general ick, stop pretending like it isn’t
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Tips for Parents- Make sure your kids are NOT using any of these apps
- PARENTS & SCHOOLS: Twitter has just made it easier to report trolls and threats to law enforcement
RESOURCES
- Click here to see all of my Facebook NOTES – these are often answering specific internet safety questions from parents and Facebook fans.
NOTE: you don’t need to have a Facebook account to see this content. - Click here to see some of my YouTube videos containing internet safety tips for parents and schools.
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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I NEVER blame app developers for the inappropriate or even criminal behavior of children who use those apps. I have said and will ALWAYS say that it is our job as parents to: monitor, limit, and consequence the behavior of our children – online or offline. However – this level of hypocrisy just cracks me up….
Snapchat launched a “Snapchat Safety Center” website which is completely covered inadorable cartoon characters just to add to the **barf** of making this app seem innocuous and child safe. Which it isn’t – not by a mile.
Don’t believe me? Take a look at the screenshot I took of Snapchat’s “safety” website below-
Credit: Snapchat Safety Center http://www.snapchat.com/safety Does this cartoon image seem like:
- a website meant to warn users (OVER 13 yo – per US law) about the risks and responsibilities associated with using this app?
- a website ensuring that parents realize that their children are in possession of an adult communication vehicle which requires adult-level maturity?
That would be a resounding NO on both counts.
Everyone knows that Snapchat has a child pornography problem.
Snapchat knows it, law enforcement knows it, prosecutors and judges know it, your kids know it, and sexual predators know it – (but the predators LOVE it). You know who doesn’t know it? Parents.
In February 2015 Snapchat kicked off this “safety” campaign via their “Snapchat Safety Center“.
Is Snapchat hoping that the kids TAKING sexy photos of themselves will read through the “community guidelines” and discover that ‘oh yeah, I shouldn’t take a picture of my junk and send it to 85 of my friends?’ OR is it intended for the parents of said child, to read through the community guidelines (prefaced by a billion cartoon characters) to realize that ‘oh yeah, my tween/teen has NO BUSINESS using this app?’ The same can be said for the other verboten behaviors listed on their site: cyberbullying, self-harm, threats of physical harm, etc.
Get serious Snapchat, you’re not fooling anyone
Yes, it’s MY job as a parent to know precisely what my child is doing online. Yes, it’s my job to make sure that my child is safe and does not accidentally court danger.
But Snapchat, seriously – let’s not pretend that your app ISN’T what it clearly IS. Why does one require an app where an image or message supposedly auto-combusts? What part of our lives requires a self-destruct button for communications? And please don’t give me that feeble, pathetic excuse about users sending each other “goofy” photos.
Snapchat’s single and only raison d’être is to send risque, cruel, and inappropriate photos/communications which supposedly “self-destruct” (except when they don’t).
I would prefer that Snapchat would come out and say: “Look, we all know what this app is meant for. Parents, do us a favor and keep your kids 10 miles away from our app, we don’t want your children here, and we don’t want anyone to get hurt.” Wouldn’t that be preferable than this pathetic display of dissembling?
THE BEST PART: Snapchat can’t even guarantee the single thing it’s meant to do – completely delete photos
Just to take the stupid one step further. Snapchat cannot in any single way guarantee that photos will disappear completely. I can give you about 4 different ways (just off the top of my head) that I can keep every single ‘snap’ sent to me.
Here’s what Snapchat’s so-called “safety center” has to say about their own nondestructable snaps
“Snapchat attempts to detect screenshots and notify the sender, but it doesn’t always work perfectly – and your friend can always capture the image with a camera. “
…and from Snapchat’s own marketing language in their app-store description
“Please note: even though Snaps, Chats, and Stories are deleted from our servers after they expire, we cannot prevent recipient(s) from capturing and saving the message by taking a screenshot or using an image capture device.”
Yes, and this doesn’t even include the 3rd party apps which can ALSO be downloaded (and kids know to use) which automatically save and capture every snap they receive without alerting the sender. DUH
PARENTS: Bottom line
- Children under 13 are not allowed
Children under 13 are forbidden by US Federal regulation (COPPA) from having ANY social media accounts. This includes Snapchat, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and any/all others. You’re children under 13 have NO BUSINESS USING SOCIAL MEDIA. You will find me resolute in this. I don’t care what the circumstances are – I don’t care if Aunt Helga (with the wonky eye and the hump) can ONLY communicate with your kids via Facebook. The answer is no. - Snapchat is NOT appropriate for children
Despite the massive number of adorable cartoons on their site, children of any age should not be using Snapchat. Maybe I’m just being a bit difficult, but using an app whose premise is hiding behavior just seems wrong to me in principle. Is this what we’re teaching our children? Do something that you can’t regret later because an app will prevent consequences? How about we just think ahead and don’t do the thing we shouldn’t have done in the first place???? (((sigh)))) - Snapchat can’t even guarantee that their ‘snaps’ will disappear
This just bugs me from a consumers-are-sheep perspective….if a company cannot guarantee that their entire reason for existing, well EXISTS, then how stupid are we as a consumer society? Why not just text the photos? That’s like watching the Kardashian’s on television and NOT expecting to lose a few thousand brain cells in the transaction. What did you think was going to happen?
Did you learn something? **Read. Learn. Share.**
— Jesse “Big Mama” Weinberger
RESOURCES
- Click here to learn “Why and how to delete your child’s Snapchat account”
- Click here to see all of my Facebook NOTES – these are often answering specific internet safety questions from parents and Facebook fans.
NOTE: you don’t need to have a Facebook account to see this content. - Click here to see some of my YouTube videos containing internet safety tips for parents and schools.
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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Jesse Weinberger – Internet Safety Speaker for Schools appeared on Fox8’s New Day Cleveland show and explained a few of the apps which parents should be aware of. If you have children ages 6 to 20 you should watch the video below…then scroll past the video for additional resources and internet safety tips for parents. - Vault apps which children as young as 8 years old are using to store and hide pornography
- Yik Yak which is the equivalent of a digital bathroom wall where users can type anything at all, and anyone within a 5 mile radius can read all local comments
- Kik which is meant to be a “safe” closed texting environment but has become a favorite method among online sexual predators.
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwIIV75gkWk]
Read other Internet Safety Tips for Parents
- Someone called me ‘militant’ – best compliment I’ve ever gotten. Internet Safety risks require immediate engagement, like now
- VIDEO: Parents are you wondering: When is my child ready for a smartphone?
- PARENTS & SCHOOLS: Twitter has just made it easier to report trolls and threats to law enforcement
- The Barrel Has No Bottom : Yik Yak Review: Another Anonymous Social Media Site Perfect for Cyberbullying & It’s Worse Than Ask.fm
- I Disagree Completely With HuffPost Article – Here’s What You Should ACTUALLY Do If You Catch Your Kid Sexting
- An Open Letter to Teens Who Use Ask.fm; Read, Post, & Share
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Before you buy your child a digital device – think safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety Expert : Jesse Weinberger on WKYC-Cleveland to Discuss Cyberbullying and Internet Safety
- VIDEO: Internet Safety: Best Parenting Practices to Keep Children, Tweens, and Teens Safe in the Digital World
- Internet Safety for Parents: Being proactive is the only defense for your tweens, teens, and family
- Parents of teens WAKE UP! Fake Facebook account contributes to the abduction and murder of 15 year old Nichole Cable in Maine
- Entire High School Football Team Gets Suspended Because of Cyberbullying on Ask.fm
- A Cleveland Teen is Murdered After a Facebook Argument – aka Internet Safety Basics: DON’T Feed the Trolls
- Adults and Kids: Stop Being Stupid. The “Gonna-Be” Posts Are Going To Get You: Robbed, Kidnapped, Assaulted
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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Recently I had the opportunity to present to the members of a fantastic organization called OASSA – Ohio Association of Secondary School Administrators (see resources).The two day workshop was created specifically for assistant principals and principals of middle schools and high schools who attended the event from every corner of Ohio. I delivered my presentation called: “Students’ Real Digital Lives” which aims to educate school administrators on the realities of the digital lives of students from K-12.
I meet tens of thousands of students each year (2015’s current estimate is 65k) and I track 24 pieces of data per child, per school times the number of years I’ve been on the road. I’m not going to do the math but let’s just agree that it’s a lot of data.
Beyond the data, I have had the opportunity to have meaningful discussions with these students; I get to know them for just a brief moment. They share their stories with me. Many of those stories weigh on my heart, and there are specific faces I will never forget.
The least you should know right now
Here’s an abbreviated version of what I’ve learned over the years and I shared with the administrators at the OASSA event: (Parents see #1 in resources below)
- Children are consuming vast amounts of pornography, consistently, beginning at 8 years old.
- The new age of onset of pornography addiction is 11 years old.
- Tweens and teens are using so-called “dating apps” and putting themselves at grave risk of becoming the victim of a sexual predator.
- Sexting is beginning in the 4th and 5th grades – consistently.
- 4th, 5th, and 6th graders are behaving in far riskier ways than their 7th, 8th, or 9th grade friends or siblings.
- Cyberbullying is pervasive across all platforms and channels, so much so that children are not recognizing it as cyberbullying. It has become the “new normal”.
This is the essence of what I shared with the attendees at the OASSA event, along with very specific guidance on particular apps and the new and coming cooties – there are too many to count sometimes.
Overall the event was a success; I had a great time, the audience was terrific and I left. That was it.
Militant? Moi? Oh, DO go on….
However TODAY I was thrilled to find a very unsolicited and very honest “review” of my presentation to OASSA by one of the attendees: Mr. Ned Lauver, the Assistant Principal of Westlake High School which is arguably one of the highest performing school districts in Ohio.
Ned Lauver has an education blog at www.nedlauvereducation.com.The blog’s tagline is “Educate the Whole Child”.
Ned wrote a blog post called “Internet Safety: Staying in Touch Amidst Constant Change” about constant digital connectivity and the potential dark side of always-on digital communication. He has this to say about my presentation:
One of the most interesting sessions at the conference I am attending today and tomorrow was entitled “Students’ Real Digital Lives” featuring speaker Jesse Weinberger. Even though I know about many of the new apps and trends currently making the rounds, I am no longer an “early adopter” (or an ever adopter, for that matter – who has the time once you’ve got young children?) and needed a refresher course. Ms. Weinberger can come off as a little militant at first, but one very quickly realizes that she really has seen it all (or will as soon as the next trendy app is released) and knows just as much.
Her website is Overnight Geek University, where she maintains an updated blog, and her Facebook page (OvernightGeekUniversity) is just as interesting. Taken with a grain of salt (it’s a little alarmist, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s wrong), it appears to be a solid resource for staying abreast of the latest trends in Internet safety and social media.
Why the sense of urgency
He’s right of course; Ned I mean. He’s totally right. I AM militant, I even wear knee high combat boots as a general rule (that’s 100% true).
I take “militant” as a compliment, I take it as a reflection of the fact that my passion for keeping these children safe has bubbled over into grabbing students, parents, and school staff by the scruff of the neck and forcing them to see what I see. I take “militant” to mean that I’m going to act, immediately, with disciplined precision and without pause (but with a significant amount of fear).But perhaps most importantly I take “militant” to mean that I am going to act and speak in defense of those who either cannot speak for themselves or don’t realize that they are at risk in the first place.
His review moved me – if only because I felt like my new BFF Ned – really “got me” in that Sally Field sort of “You get me, you really really get me!” way. I’m not entirely sure if Ned meant it as a compliment, but I have chosen to receive it as my 2nd favorite review* (see #4 resources below).
I was so excited about Ned’s blog post that I responded to it by way of a comment. You can find the entire post along with my comment on Ned’s blog. Here’s an excerpt:
Hello Ned! I found this blog post about me quite by accident; I was the presenter you’re referring to in your blog post. I can’t tell you how thrilled I was to hear that your first reaction to my presentation was “militant” – that actually made my day! (Hey, I don’t wear 14 eye knee-high Doc Marten WWI British Army boots for nothing!)
But you have the right of it, and your assessment is on the money: the nature of my presentation is alarming AND true. Just as an example….since my presentation to OASSA, I have been to three more schools where: one 7th grade girl asked me for help with a sexual predator who now had her home address and school information AND one 6th grade boy asked me for help with his pornography addiction.
Here’s another example from two days ago. I give all of my student-attendees an anonymous exit survey. The first question asks: “What will you now change about your digital behavior as a result of this presentation?”. A 6th grade girl answered: “I met a boy on Instagram and I was going to go meet him IRL (“in real life”) but now I decided not to.” Based on what I’ve seen consistently, I can unequivocally guarantee you that the person this little girl would have met up with in the real world, would NOT have been another 6th grader – but rather a grown-up sexual predator.
Thank you so much for your assessment and appreciation; including your call for a “grain of salt”. Critical consumption of content is not something I encounter among my students (or their parents) very often. It’s refreshing. EVERYONE should look at all media, opinion, and news with a skeptical eye. This generation of children has NO idea how to do that or even what it means to think deeply or critically. This thought keeps me up at night, quite literally.
Signed, Your Militant Friend aka “Big Mama” -Jesse Weinberger
RESOURCES
- *Parents: YES this includes YOUR children regardless of: local crime rates, socioeconomic levels, expensive private school or parochial versus public inner-city, or any other demographic variable.
- Are you an educator? Do yourself a favor and follow Ned Lauver’s Blog! http://www.nedlauvereducation.com/
- Are you a employed by a middle level, secondary school, or district office under an administrative contract in Ohio? If so – you should really consider joining OASSA. They have amazing resources for members – plus you get to see *amazing* presenters (like me!). Learn more about membership here: http://www.oassa.org/
- My 1st favorite review came from an 11th grade boy with tons of attitude who shook my hand after the presentation and told me that I had changed his entire outlook on life. I’m not sure how he got THERE from “don’t take a picture of your junk and send it to 85 of your friends”, but I’ll take it. Maybe he just liked my boots.
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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This is one of the most commonly asked questions I receive both online and at live Internet Safety for Parents events. Are you wondering? Take a peek…
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_z94uFHd6I]
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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'; Credit: Marek.Sotak (Flickr) Most social media sites don’t do a particularly good job of protecting users from online trolls and harassment. Putting up with extremely violent and sexually aggressive trolling has become the new “normal” of online life for frequent users of social media platforms such as Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.
For asynchronous platforms especially (those where you do NOT have to approve followers) like Twitter and Instagram, your profile is open to public consumption. Consider these apps as you would a bathroom wall assigned to an individual: where the user (the owner of the wall) can write whatever he/she likes for anyone to see. A visitor to that bathroom can also respond in a very public way on that same bathroom wall – for everyone to see.
(NOTE: Although you *can* lock down your Instagram and Twitter profiles to private which would require potential followers to ask for permission to follow you, only 12% of Twitter users employ this privacy option.)
Tweens and teens suffer at the hands of trolls and online harassment
As I travel around the country speaking to students (from kindergarten to college) the stories of harassment and trolling are not only frequent, but expected. In fact, whenever I am booked to speak at a large school district, I ask for school guidance counselors and law enforcement to be present. There is no question that situations will come up which will require some measure of intervention.
One of the most common questions I am asked by parents, students, and schools is: “What do we do once we see [insert flavor of harassment]?” The answer has traditionally been: take a screenshot and bring it to school and/or law enforcement. However, the strength of that evidence is largely dependent on the tech knowledge of the person capturing the evidence. Most parents don’t know exactly what to screenshot and evidence can quickly disappear.
Twitter embarassed by their ‘revenge porn’ problem
In a recent memo to Twitter employees, Twitter CEO Dick Costolo said he was embarrassed about the company’s reputation (re: revenge porn) and took “personal responsibility” for the company’s failure to address the problem.”We suck at dealing with abuse and trolls on the platform and we’ve sucked at it for years,” Costolo wrote.
Just recently, the “Twitter Rules” have been updated to include the following: “You may not post intimate photos or videos that were taken or distributed without the subject’s consent”. This so-called “revenge porn” has been an enormous issue on Twitter and other social media sites.
What do I do if my child is a victim of cyberbullying, sexual harassment, or revenge porn on Twitter?
Before today, I would have given you my standard recommendation: “take a screenshot and bring it to your child’s school and/or law enforcement” knowing that the success of that process depended on the relative tech knowledge of the parent. HOWEVER, as of this morning, Twitter has unveiled a fantastic new reporting tool making it far easier to act in a meaningful way.
Now, when you use the REPORT option on a specific tweet, you will see the following:
LEFT IMAGE: You will see confirmation that Twitter has received the report (this process is the same as it was before)
You also have the option to have a report EMAILED to you which can be brought to your child’s school and/or law enforcement. If you choose the EMAIL REPORT option…you will see the image on the rightRIGHT IMAGE: The report has been sent, and you then have the opportunity to either MUTE or BLOCK the offending user.
MUTE: This means that you will not see any of the offender’s tweets in your feed, but you will still receive notifications of direct messages
BLOCK: The offender will not be able to follow or view your Tweets (at all) AND you will not see anything from the offender – anywhere
CREDIT: Twitter Blog You will receive a date stamped report including the names of the perpetrator of the abuse and the victim in addition to the date/time information of the offending content. The email also includes guidelines for law enforcement – which you should print off and bring to law enforcement AND to your child’s school.
CREDIT: Twitter Blog NOTE to School Administrators
When parents contact you with a report of alleged cyberbullying against one of your students on Twitter, recommending that they use this tool will go a long way to making YOUR job as an administrator easier. Discipline cannot be meted out without evidence. The responsibility for gathering the evidence is on the parents and/or students – NOT on the school.
NOTE to Parents
Although this is a great tool (and I applaud Twitter for its development) it’s implementation on behalf of your child presumes that the damage has already been done. This is a reactive solution.
Remember that children under 13 years old are precluded by COPPA (Federal Act) to own ANY social media accounts. Your children under 13 years old have absolutely NO BUSINESS having any social media accounts of any flavor, under any circumstances, ever. The risks are and consequences are too high:
- Pornography consumption – the new age of onset of consumption of pornography is 8 years old (porn is everywhere, yes even on Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, SnapChat, and Vine)
- Sexting – I’m seeing this start as young as the 4th grade. Children are being investigated and charged with felony child pornography charges all over the country
- Sexual predation – there are 750k sexual predators online at any given moment and they are hanging out and gaming with children who don’t even realize it
- Cyberbullying – including revenge porn and offline violence
Jesse Weinberger is an Internet Safety Expert, Internet Safety Speaker for schools, and the author of “The Boogeyman Exists: And He’s In Your Child’s Back Pocket”; a guide for parents and educators on how to keep children safe in a 24-7 always connected digital society. Learn more about how to keep your children safe online She has been teaching parents, schools, and students how to navigate online and mobile risks since 2003. Jesse is available for presentations to schools, parents, students, and organizations all over the United States.
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