Testimonials
Schools, organizations, and students rave about Internet Safety Presenter Jesse Weinberger
“Big Mama, you’re right, I’m going to cut my device time and eat more dirt. My mom needs to do everything you say – she has no idea what’s really going on.”
“I have been a technology professional for 20 years and I thought I had a good understanding of what it meant to be safe on the internet. Jesse opened my eyes. Whether you are a technology novice or a so called expert, you will learn something that you will start applying immediately. ”
“Please accept our sincere appreciation for your outstanding presentation. Your session was a huge hit with the SRO and DARE officers. It was informative, funny, and irreverent, all the right ingredients for law enforcement. Since I’m from New Jersey I could really relate to your comments about your parents who were not big believers in coddling their children. Thank you for speaking to our group and sharing your time and talent to instruct so many of our school law enforcement.”
“Thank you for what you do. We needed this information to be drilled into us from the start. We didn’t know what we were doing.”
“This is the best presentation I’ve heard all year. I’ve learned so much it’s amazing. Thank you! PS You are very entertaining too. 🙂 ”
“Big Mama, I want to thank you – that was disturbing AND awesome all at the same time.”
“On behalf of the administration and Ramaz community, heartfelt thanks for a powerful and substantive presentation. We’re sure you have heard this countless time, but your dynamic speaking style, total command of the latest information about internet safety, and no nonsense, direct approach is such a winning combination. Cameras are being taped, apps are being deleted, parents are organizing, and the community is buzzing – all testimony to how effective you were. We couldn’t have hoped for more.”
“I sincerely thank you for coming to our community and talking to not only our children this week, but to us last night. Your message was priceless. I’m beyond grateful for the impact I saw in my 6th grade quiet son. He came home and spontaneously blurted out “Mom, I do know you love me!” My son thinks you’re great, that you’re “real”, and that he could tell that you cared. He sat down and unloaded all the anxiety he was carrying (at the age of 11) over how many of his friends are hiding apps and behavior, and that he can’t sleep sometimes because of what they tell him. Now we talk “real” every day. Thank you for all of this. My husband and I thank you!”
“Thank you very much! You were very educational and funny!”
“Jesse Weinberger is a presenter that all parents should be required to see! She tells it like it is, in a way that will scare you… in a good way! You must, must, must hear her tips on internet safety. I’m on Facebook and on Instagram… oh boy I had no idea! Jesse’s no nonsense approach and interactive delivery make this sometimes touchy subject fun and fact filled.”
“Thank you Jesse Weinberger for a fantastic Internet Safety presentation to our 4th and 6th grade Girl Scouts! You tackled the important topic of internet safety without boring the girls with statistics and sounding like a “mom”. The girls were laughing and asking questions – no small feat! I really appreciate the time you took with our group and encourage all parents to get up to speed on this important safety issue! “
“I wanted to personally thank you for your leadership while working with Kenston stakeholders this year. I was reflecting on your impact after both presentations. One of the main reasons parents showed up on Tuesday is because students clearly respect who you are and followed the orders to go home and talk to mom/or dad on what they learned. Your presentation skills are spot on, especially how you win over every audience with an authentic approach but also how you connect by sharing personal and family experiences that are real. Thanks again for your time!”
Someone called me ‘militant’ – best compliment I’ve ever gotten. Internet Safety risks require immediate engagement, like now.
The two day workshop was created specifically for assistant principals and principals of middle schools and high schools who attended the event from every corner of Ohio. I delivered my presentation called: “Students’ Real Digital Lives” which aims to educate school administrators on the realities of the digital lives of students from K-12.
I meet tens of thousands of students each year (2015’s current estimate is 65k) and I track 24 pieces of data per child, per school times the number of years I’ve been on the road. I’m not going to do the math but let’s just agree that it’s a lot of data.
Beyond the data, I have had the opportunity to have meaningful discussions with these students; I get to know them for just a brief moment. They share their stories with me. Many of those stories weigh on my heart, and there are specific faces I will never forget.
The least you should know right now
Here’s an abbreviated version of what I’ve learned over the years and I shared with the administrators at the OASSA event: (Parents see #1 in resources below)
This is the essence of what I shared with the attendees at the OASSA event, along with very specific guidance on particular apps and the new and coming cooties – there are too many to count sometimes.
Overall the event was a success; I had a great time, the audience was terrific and I left. That was it.
Militant? Moi? Oh, DO go on….
However TODAY I was thrilled to find a very unsolicited and very honest “review” of my presentation to OASSA by one of the attendees: Mr. Ned Lauver, the Assistant Principal of Westlake High School which is arguably one of the highest performing school districts in Ohio.
Ned wrote a blog post called “Internet Safety: Staying in Touch Amidst Constant Change” about constant digital connectivity and the potential dark side of always-on digital communication. He has this to say about my presentation:
Why the sense of urgency
He’s right of course; Ned I mean. He’s totally right. I AM militant, I even wear knee high combat boots as a general rule (that’s 100% true).
I take “militant” as a compliment, I take it as a reflection of the fact that my passion for keeping these children safe has bubbled over into grabbing students, parents, and school staff by the scruff of the neck and forcing them to see what I see. I take “militant” to mean that I’m going to act, immediately, with disciplined precision and without pause (but with a significant amount of fear).But perhaps most importantly I take “militant” to mean that I am going to act and speak in defense of those who either cannot speak for themselves or don’t realize that they are at risk in the first place.
His review moved me – if only because I felt like my new BFF Ned – really “got me” in that Sally Field sort of “You get me, you really really get me!” way. I’m not entirely sure if Ned meant it as a compliment, but I have chosen to receive it as my 2nd favorite review* (see #4 resources below).
I was so excited about Ned’s blog post that I responded to it by way of a comment. You can find the entire post along with my comment on Ned’s blog. Here’s an excerpt:
RESOURCES
VIDEO: Parents are you wondering: When is my child ready for a smartphone?
This is one of the most commonly asked questions I receive both online and at live Internet Safety for Parents events.
Social Media Recap – The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly
Here’s what you might have missed in social media in the last week…..
The Good
Ellen Breaks Twitter
Ellen DeGeneres has perhaps the coolest “selfie” experience ever.While hosting the Oscars, Ellen decided to gather a group of celebrities for a selfie. And then she broke Twitter.
Ellen also broke the highest Twitter records by getting 400K retweets in 30 minutes. When the screen shot was taken, it had been retweeted 2.7 million times.
As a result, Twitter lost power for over 20 minutes, and sent out an apology to it’s users. Well played Ellen.
Minecraft Movie
For those of you who found yourselves at a movie theater laughing and crying at the Lego Movie (and not just because of how much cash you dropped on 4 tickets and some popcorn), there is MORE good news. Most of our kids from 8-15 years old are Minecraft FREAKS.
We should therefore, not be surprised that there is a Minecraft movie in the works.
That’s right a “live action” movie based on the wildly popular game (100 million users to date).
As long as that 40 second music wind-chime-tinkling-tune on a loop isn’t the consistent musical accompaniment, I should be able to make it out without shoving a pencil in my eye.
The Bad
How to Lose $80K In One Facebook Post
Photo Credit: Rebecca Barray
NOTE TO SELF:
The next time I’m a college freshman and my dad wins an age-discrimination suit against the high school that employed him, I will remember to NOT post a snarky victory status on Facebook, especially when the settlement includes a gag order – because then my parents will lose the settlement money.
Oops
The Ugly
This Teen Has Sex With a Hot Pocket, Seriously
When I present to parents I talk about the immaturity of the teen brain. It just isn’t done cooking yet, literally. A young adult’s brain does not have a fully connected frontal lobe. So they’re sorta brain damaged. But as parents we forget that and tend to say things like: “How on earth did you think that was a good idea?”, “No, I have never wondered what would happen if you microwaved a raw egg”, and “Why is there cottage cheese on the ceiling?”.
This story lives at the intersection of “Over Cooked Hot Pocket” AND “Under Cooked Frontal Lobe”.
Once upon a time there was a young man who wanted to increase his Twitter followers. He created a Vine of himself fornicating with an empty box of Pop Tarts. After a brief flash of social media fame – the muse visited once again. In an effort to skyrocket past his previous fame, he decided to have sex with a microwaved Hot Pocket, literally.
Alas, in the end the fame backfired; the courageous young man who risked his personal reputation AND his junk ended up with suspended Twitter and Vine accounts. In addition, Hot Pockets blocked him on Twitter….everybody’s a critic.
In other (apparently) unrelated news….
Nestle USA issued a voluntary recall of its Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pockets because they may contain “diseased and unsound animal meat” – which is an unkind characterization. What teens do with their Hot Pockets is really none of our business. Unless of course they post it to Vine, then it becomes “forever”.
The Barrel Has No Bottom : Yik Yak Review: Another Anonymous Social Media Site Perfect for Cyberbullying & It’s Worse Than Ask.fm
In honor of Safer Internet Day, we have a new cootie to dissect. This one is called Yik Yak – perhaps because that is what it will make you want to do….
Yik Yak is worse than Ask.fm. Yes, I said it – WORSE. And if you aren’t sure what Ask.fm is read two of my previous posts:
Why Yik Yak is Worse than Ask.fm
As we’ve seen before, Ask.fm’s marketed anonymity makes it easy for anyone to ask YOU on YOUR profile questions. They can be nasty and mean but they’re asking YOU.
On Ask.fm:
For this example we’ll call her Sally Smith from Topeka Kansas
Another user we’ll call Jenny Jones from Topeka Kansas
* Why are you such a whore?
* Why don’t you kill yourself?
* Do your parents hate you as much as everyone else?
Now let’s apply the same scenario above to Yik Yak
Which by the way is meant for 17+ college students, and the app maker warns about inappropriate content
**Do any of you know Sally Smith? She is such a whore
**I’m pretty sure my English teacher – Mr. Taylor- is gay
Here is an actual example from my current Yik Yak screen
Note the second post which reads “Gotta feeling this is going to get out of control”.
Actual Yik Yak Feed
When we click on that particular post we get a map – apparently whomever posted that comment was inside Vestavia Hills High School at the time
By zooming in slightly we will know exactly the spot where the user was standing inside of the building when that post was uploaded to Yik Yak
Biggest Concerns with Yik Yak
Anonymity: This is the same issue with Ask.fm. Anonymity makes bullies feel brave. We can expect to hear a lot more about this app in conjunction with cyberbullying issues.
Posting: It is feasible and reasonable to assume that it won’t be long before the feed becomes my generation’s equivalent of the bathroom wall. “For a good time call….”
Location: This app not only serves up the feed of the posts closest to you (location issue #1), but it then reveals the location of the user posting (location issue #2).
What happens now?
This app is not meant for children. The app makers make that plain in their Android and IOS marketplace descriptions.
According to their marketing language:
Obviously your child should have not have this app on his/her phone.
The only thing we can continue to do is to parent our children. Watch this video for a review on the basics.
Parents: Teach Media Literacy to Children; Consume Worthwhile Media FIRST: 100 Books Every Human Should Read
As consumers of media we need to understand when we are being subjected to some sort of media bias 100% of the time. Producers of content are trying to make you FEEL something and believe something which might go against your values.
Do you even realize when it’s happening? The overwhelming percentage of media messages have some sort of bias (even most news outlets). When you hear or see a message can you identify the: sexist, ageist, racist, religious biases, or political agendas?
And please don’t assume that your favorite news agency only leans in one direction. That direction will blow in the wind according to the slate of advertisers on deck. Every opinion is for sale, and the farther you dig into media literacy the clearer that will become.
Being media literate helps you to analyze and evaluate the message you see, hear, and “consume” via all delivery systems: print, radio, television, and digital. Teaching media literacy to young people becomes particularly important because of the massive amount of content teens consume on a daily basis.
The average American teenager spends:
GRAND TOTAL: 10 hours and 45 minutes per DAY on mass media consumption (according to a study done by the Henry J. Kaiser Family Foundation).
In addition, an overwhelmingly high percentage of the media bias your child is consuming is sexual in nature.The messages your children receive (depending on what they are watching/hearing/reading) generally takes on slight variations of the same flavor:
That’s it – this is the basic lens through which your children consume media. Awesome.
Media Literacy Trick: Consume Great Content
If you want to cultivate media literacy in your home and with your children, you need to lay a foundation of solid and worthwhile content to act as a counterpoint to all of the vomit content which exists in the real world and in the digital ether. Incidentally, most of the real-world “print” vomit content is located at the end of the grocery store check out aisle.
If you our your child are at ALL engaged to the current relative size of a Kardashian’s back side….begin reading this list STAT. You need an intervention.
Amazon.com has put together a list of the 100 Books Every Person should read. Think of this as a literary bucket list.
Remember as you consume content, don’t shy away from the content which might clash with the values you are trying to teach your own children. For example: A book with violent undertones (ie Hunger Games) can act as a springboard for discussion which will linger in your child’s mind far after the discussion is over.
What to do now?
Go to Amazon.com and check out the list. Begin reading WITH your child, and pay attention to the content your child is consuming.
Like today.
I Disagree Completely With HuffPost Article – Here’s What You Should ACTUALLY Do If You Catch Your Kid Sexting
Rachel Busman, PsyD recently published a Huffington Post article called Caught Your Kid Sexting, Now What?
Dr. Busman makes great points related to parent education; a point I stress when teaching parents, students, and school districts. Parents must become educated when it comes to their child’s actual digital life. Once educated, parents need to engage at every level of their child’s digital experience. And yes that means setting limitations (GASP!) and snooping.
For the record
I take issue with just a few things in Busman’s article
She said WHAT?
I agree with Busman when it comes to her points on : parent education and rule setting. But then, she says that if you do, in fact, catch your child sexting:
OK, so this shocks me a little bit. I think I even sucked in my breath and muttered an “oh, HELL no”.
I happen to be a huge supporter of our teens and I love meeting your children when I present at schools all over the United States. The vast majority of these kids are smart and funny. They’re trying hard to just get through a life that seems like some sort of medieval obstacle course complete with swinging blades and burning bales of hay. Your children need your help. As a parent that “help” can sometimes require you to push, and other times pull.
Grab a Hammer
Busman recommends calm and NOT slapping on a bunch of restrictions. Really?
If I have done my part as a parent; if I have taken the time and effort to become educated as to my child’s digital life; if I have become engaged and asked all the right questions; if I have set rules and I’ve tried to be a good digital role model; if I have told my child to NOT take a photo of her junk, if my child KNOWS this…..and still she takes a photo of said junk? There will be no calm and there will be no discussion.
I’ve been teaching Internet Safety since 2003 and I’ve seen parents come and go by the score. And let me tell you this. If your do not make your child’s digital life stop on a dime the first time something happens? You’re cooked.
This is not the time for understanding, coddling, or anything else other than unadulterated consequences. For me, that requires smashing the phone with a hammer. That’s it. Done. There have got to be consequences within your home. If your child knows the rules and breaks them, feel free to break the phone.
I agree with Busman’s point that :
My response? Your child broke the family contract. If their digital social life is so critical to their well being, then they should NOT have broken the contract. When are your children supposed to understand actual life consequences if you don’t provide them in the home? The real world is NOT going to be filled with calm and understanding: police officers, prosecutors, landlords, or even in-laws.
Sexting is not alcohol, it’s not drugs, or even sex – which could potentially be “dabbled in” as a course of becoming an adult; a sort of “learning lessons” along the way.
If you do not provide these consequences at home your local prosecutor and online sex predator would be more than happy to do so in your place. But I promise you, you won’t like the results.
VIDEO: Parents: When is My Child Ready for a Smartphone?
As an Internet Safety Expert and presenter – this is the most common question I get from parents. Generally speaking, their child is pestering them for a phone because EVERYONE else has one. The trouble is that your child is probably not exaggerating. So what should you do? If your child is under 13 years old, just say no.
And if she keeps bugging you, pour yourself a glass of wine and watch my video again. I’m here for you!! Stay strong parents. Say no!!